Mr Cairo

I really need get Mr Sweden out of my head, so I decide I am going out on a date the next evening. I like him and we keep texting each other and things are going great, but a girl needs to eat and have her options open.

I started to talk to Mr Cairo 3 weeks ago and then he stopped talking to me as he had his CFA exams. Today was the day of his exams and to be polite I wished him luck. He invited me to go out after his exam. I wouldn’t want to meet anyone after an exam and was somewhat flattered by his gesture. My other choice for the night was an obnoxious Iranian I had met previously. Cairo seemed the best option so far. The Iranian was so cocky that I want to neglect him for a while to keep him hungry, desperate and on his knees, the way I like the cocky sort of men served.

Mr Cairo was international school kid, grandiose, very confused culturally (globalisation does that to you), relatively well travelled and self entitled. For example, he went to a polytechnic and he seemed to feel need explain how great it was to me. Dude, it’s still a polytechnic don’t try telling me you’re lecturer came from LSE as he was still teaching at a polytechnic. He went on to name drop about all the important people he has ever known and met, so I switched off. It was clear that he was just another lazy kid that has been provided endless opportunities but decided to take none of them. I just wanted Mr Sweden there now instead of him. I switched on again until he started to talk about restaurants. He then went on to tell me how he only ate at the best restaurants and cocktail bars in London. He even included the current place as one: Trader’s Vic was mediocre at best. Honestly, who did he think he was impressing? At this point I wanted to confess about my subscriptions to The Restaurant and Drinks International magazines, but I just kept quiet and watched him dig himself to exhaustion with his bullshit. It was like watching a peacock run around exhaustively with unattractive ruffled feathers. It was a hopeless endeavour. Poor sod.

We go on to order, he decided he wants 4 mains 3 starters. I order my one main and started thinking I am not splitting this bill for sure. He has relatively good skills with seafood tools though so I am impressed by the fact he can handle a lobster. People usually look a total mess handling a lobster. I was worried when he got the lobster as I thought he may make a total mess on the table.

As the night draws to a close, he turns to me and says ‘back to mine’. I turn around and say ‘definitely not’. The bill comes and I signal to go into my bag for my card, but he insists on paying.

Criteria Score
Offered to pay the bill Yes
Insisted on paying the bill Yes
Politeness -5/5
Ambitious 3/5
Looks 2.5/5






2 thoughts on “Mr Cairo

  1. I’m sure someone as educationally superior as yourself will appreciate the irony of your piss poor grammar in the phrase ‘Dude, it’s still a polytechnic don’t try telling me you’re lecturer came from LSE’ whilst slagging off someone else’s educational background. You’re (not your) missing a fullstop in addition to a dearth in basic literacy skills.

    You also sound like possibly the worst date in London.


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