The Boy Part ii 

He had the bluest eyes coupled with brunette hair. He was handsome indeed. He started talking and it quickly became apparent that he was uninhibited by social barbed wired fences built by his politically obsessed European ancestors. He didn’t knock the fences down by any means: he had some respect for them. He glided through […]

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Mr Dominican Republic

Dancing comes naturally to me, but I was surrounded by stiffness all around me. They stiffness was inhibiting my passion for the jingling of the the trunk. Drama in Mayfair is the kind of place where stiffness flourishes due to the massive sticks people have up their asses. The club is filled with B list […]

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Mr Pakistan 

Nervous. He walked in and made shuddered eye contact. Tone it down I told myself. He is just a snack and not even a starter like I originally thought he would be. What an insult to all starters: how rude of me to get him so confused. I was on my best behaviour so the […]

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The funchasia shell screams out ‘Touch me! Eat me! Devour me!’ You are excited. You are faced with something new, exotic and god damn it you want it. You have no idea what you are doing so you lunge in and smother your sticky paws all over it. Ecstasy blinds and deafens you. It’s only […]

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Mr Cambridge

When I started university the head of department said to us that we will enjoy our time and we may even meet our future partners there. He was wrong on both counts. I hated Biochemistry and the pompous middle class kids who were very cliche. They were kind of closet racists that would post online […]

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The Boy

He broke my rules. He came round, took his pants down and completely shat all over my rule book. Yet, I feel a sense of loyalty towards him. He can’t be in this blog. He was a Oscar de la Renta sequin dress (a true classic) and the rest of the catalogue of men on […]

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Mr Vino

Mr Vino spotted me walking towards him as he was packing up after his wine tasting session. He said I was late. I looked at him disappointedly with my fabulous Lily Ghalechi lashes that had a flirtatious personality of their own. He couldn’t say no. Unless he was gay of course. Thankfully he wasn’t and […]

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