Mr Turkey

He wanted to be a man, a real man: the real kind of macho type. This mentality was beaten into him from a young age in the Middle East and now as a first generation immigrant it was hard to shake off. As I sat there looking at his perfectly chiseled face and stubbles, I […]

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Mr Taiwan 

Product of Taiwan and Britain. His father was a burgeoning CEO in the Far East and I guess he got curious. His mother, his secretary, was the outlet of this curiosity and became his sex-etary. Somehow that resulted in a marriage. I guess he did look like an accident. Like most mistakes, a creator far […]

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The Boy Part ii 

He had the bluest eyes coupled with brunette hair. He was handsome indeed. He started talking and it quickly became apparent that he was uninhibited by social barbed wired fences built by his politically obsessed European ancestors. He didn’t knock the fences down by any means: he had some respect for them. He glided through […]

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Mr Dominican Republic

Dancing comes naturally to me, but I was surrounded by stiffness all around me. They stiffness was inhibiting my passion for the jingling of the the trunk. Drama in Mayfair is the kind of place where stiffness flourishes due to the massive sticks people have up their asses. The club is filled with B list […]

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Mr Pakistan 

Nervous. He walked in and made shuddered eye contact. Tone it down I told myself. He is just a snack and not even a starter like I originally thought he would be. What an insult to all starters: how rude of me to get him so confused. I was on my best behaviour so the […]

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The funchasia shell screams out ‘Touch me! Eat me! Devour me!’ You are excited. You are faced with something new, exotic and god damn it you want it. You have no idea what you are doing so you lunge in and smother your sticky paws all over it. Ecstasy blinds and deafens you. It’s only […]

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Mr Cambridge

When I started university the head of department said to us that we will enjoy our time and we may even meet our future partners there. He was wrong on both counts. I hated Biochemistry and the pompous middle class kids who were very cliche. They were kind of closet racists that would post online […]

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